Spring Cleaning
Hi! Long time.
The last time I wrote here was around September, which feels like a lifetime ago. Since then, I’ve been quiet for a bit. I stepped away from Substack, stepped away from social media, stepped away from a lot of distractions.
Part of that was intentional. Part of it just happened.
But I’m back now because I missed writing, oversharing, and exploring this life in progress with you all. Also because spring is here, and spring always brings out the version of me that romanticizes life a little more.
Over the fall and winter, I kept telling my friends that I was in my “lock-in season.” What I meant was that disappointment had started to feel a little too familiar. Heavy enough that I could feel myself slipping into a mindset of, maybe this is just how things are. And instead of treating that feeling as an excuse to sulk and check out, I decided I needed to do something about it.
For me, that started with cutting off noise. I got off Instagram first, which was surprisingly easy. TikTok was another story. That app has me in a chokehold. Deleting it felt like cutting off that toxic person you’ve gotten way too used to. But I prevailed!
No shade, taking a social media break was very anticlimactic. Nothing special happened. I didn’t become a productivity influencer with a color-coded calendar and a morning matcha routine. At first, it was mostly just me being bored as hell and sitting with the weird feeling of having nowhere to send my emotions besides back into my own body.
And apparently, that was the point.
I needed space to hear my own life again. I needed to stop letting my mood dictate what I did with my time. I needed to accept the very annoying truth that my life is, in fact, my responsibility. If I wanted something different, I had to actually do something different. Not just talk or post about it.
And to be clear, this is not a sermon about discipline. I fear I’m not qualified to be the messenger for that.
Locking in, for me, mostly meant choosing action more often than non-action. Some days that meant real progress. Some days it meant moving only an inch. But the point is that I moved.
That looked like setting specific goals and doing the boring work they required. Building a schedule and sticking to it even when I wasn’t in the mood. Not waiting to feel inspired before doing the thing I said I cared about.
It also meant getting more intentional about fun. Because I don’t think locking in means being bored and miserable all the time. I think it means focusing on what actually leaves you feeling good.
For me, that looked like playing and watching lots of tennis (let’s all pray for Coco’s serve), reading more, going to the movies more, and remembering that life is actually full outside of the internet. Social media gives such an instant hit of stimulation that everything else starts to feel a little dull. But when your days are filled with healthy fun, and actual plans with actual people, life starts to feel full again.
One thing I did not expect was realizing that even without social media, I would still find ways to procrastinate. Which was helpful, honestly. Because then I had to stop blaming apps and look at what my procrastination actually was. It wasn’t always distraction. Sometimes it was avoidance. Other times it was fear. Most times it was wanting the results without wanting the boring or uncomfortable work they require.
And unfortunately for me, there is no bypass for that.
The biggest shift this winter wasn’t a dramatic breakthrough. It was accepting that there really is no shortcut. Just doing the boring things repeatedly and letting the results catch up later.
And they did.
The first few months of this year have been really good to me in a way that feels earned.
Career-wise, I started a new role that pushed me up a couple notches. I’m leading a business function for the first time in my career, which means my impact is no longer just about my own work. It’s also about how I lead, how I communicate, how I develop people, and what kind of environment I create. That feels exciting and scary as hell, which I’m learning is usually a sign that I’m growing.
On the life side, I’ve built routines that actually fit my schedule. I’m in the gym a few times a week. I swim after work when I can. I play tennis. I take classes. Nothing extreme, just movement that feels sustainable. I’ve also been showing up for my friends more. Not just brunch. Real time, conversations, and presence.
That’s really what this return to Substack is about. Not another big rebrand. Just the quiet satisfaction of coming back to myself a little more.
Still imperfect. Still human. But moving.
Because, after all, this is a Life in Progress.
If you’re reading this, tell me one thing: what’s one area of your life where you’re choosing action right now, even if it’s only an inch?
Field Notes
What I’m Wearing 👔
Zara water-repellent trench coat — Spring in New York is deeply unserious, so I’ve been prioritizing jackets that can handle rain, random temperature drops, and still look polished.
Zara washed leather jacket — Rustic, chic, and easy. One of those pieces that works for the office, dinner, drinks, and whatever else the day turns into.
What I’m Reading 📚
Another America by James Ciment — A dramatic, fascinating entry point into one chapter of Liberian history. As a Liberian American, I’m always looking for more ways to understand a story that still feels deeply undertold.
What was Behind the T.S.A Meltdown? (The New Yorker)— Equal parts travel anxiety and a grim reminder of how tenuous things feel politically right now.
Sula by Toni Morrison — Just started. Toni Morrison is one of my favorites, and yes, I’m finally getting to this one after years of saying I would.
What I’m Watching 🎥
Paradise S2 on Hulu— Sterling K. Brown is such a sexy, compelling hero.
The Pitt S2 on HBO— Every episode makes me want to personally thank a healthcare worker.
The Comeback on HBO — Lisa Kudrow hive, rise. Still one of the funniest and strangest shows ever made.
Hamnet — Just beautifully done. Not light viewing, but worth the emotional damage.
What I’m Eating 🍽️
Coqodaq (Flatiron)— The fried chicken is absurdly good, and the whole meal feels like an experience. Get the caviar nuggets!
One Bite Omakase (Upper West Side)— A 13-course sushi date where, respectfully, the food outperformed the company.
Golden Diner (Chinatown) — Those pancakes were ridiculous. It’s probably for the best that getting a table is so hard.
Until next time!